Why do Married Women Cheat?
While married women have affairs in much lower numbers than men, make no mistake: married women do have extramarital relationships. And quite often, the reasons that some married women give when explaining their decision to cheat on their spouses and partners are very similar to the reasons that men give.
Statistics on affairs involving married people are not generally thought of as accurate, given the very nature of the subject and the reluctance of many people to give truthful information, even anonymously. But they do provide some level of reliable insight into the potential total of married individuals who cheat on there spouses.
According to the most recent statistics, 14 percent of married women have at least one affair during their marriage (as compared to approximately 22 percent of men). In addition, the same stats show that younger people are more likely to have an affair than older married individuals and that younger women are as likely, if not more likely, to have an extramarital affair.
Just as their numbers are very similar to those of men, so are the reasons married women have affairs. Below are a few of the most common reasons given:
Level of desire
While men and women are both having sex late into their lives, the numbers of men and the level of desire of men overall declines sharply when compared to that of women. This means there are probably a lot of sexually unfulfilled women out there. But rather than turn off their sexual desires to meet the demand (or lack thereof) of their husbands’ many women are opting for discreet sexual affairs to fulfill their needs. Rather than pressure their husbands, who are often indifferent to their requests, the women have turned to discreet adult dating sites to meet partners to help them meet the needs their husbands or partners can’t or won’t attempt to meet.
A need to feel wanted
For many women, the longer their marriage has gone on, the less attractive they feel. Their husbands, who may have showered them with compliments and affection when they first married, may now treat them indifferently or, worse, criticize their appearance (weight, overall looks, etc.). Many women begin to accept this assessment as fact and begin to believe, indeed, that they are unattractive and undesirable. But many others have discovered adult dating websites and with it, scores of men who find them attractive and sexually desirable. They’ve gone on to have discreet affairs with partners who remind them of how beautiful and sexually exciting they are, giving them a “second life” as a sensual human being.
Variety is the spice of life, it’s been said, and that variety includes sexual variety as well. When it comes to sex, women are no different from men in that they sometimes crave a bit of a change in their routine. If their spouse or partner can give them that spice; great. But quite often, their partner is unwilling or unable to give them the type of variety they seek. It may be a situation where the sex has become routine and predictable, one a situation where their partner is only concerned with their own needs and the woman is left unsatisfied. In these situations, a discreet affair may be the outlet the woman needs to find someone who is willing to participate in new adventures or who may even bring something new to her sex life.
It may seem like mundane reason to have an affair – after all, we all get bored with life sometime – but the day-in, day-out routine of life is a major reason why some married women cheat on their husband or partner. The ritual of going to the office (if they work outside of the home), taking care of kids, paying bills, cooking dinner, washing dishes, cleaning the house, shopping, etc. can put anyone in a rut and a married woman is no different. An affair can give a twist to that routine and take them, even momentarily, away from the boredom of everyday life. The discreet conversations, the flirty text messages (don’t forget to delete them!), planning the rendezvous, finally getting together for a night (or afternoon) of passion, all of it can give her a renewed sense of vigor and help her make it through another week of the everyday routine.
Incompatibility with significant other
Sometimes, the reason women have an affair is simple unhappiness with their marriage or spouse. It may not be a specific, “legitimate” reason, but simply these two people have grown apart, at least sexually. They may continue to live together for financial reasons, or may still actually like each other but just not in “that way”. In those situations, an affair may be a way to fill in the missing piece of the puzzle, to enjoy that one aspect that is missing from their dominant relationship. Sometimes, the affair is discreet because while the partner accepts the idea that their wife or girlfriend still desires a sexual relationship (just not with them), they would rather not know about it. Other times, it’s agreed that they can both see other people as a way to fulfill their desires. Every other aspect of their lives may function perfectly, but an affair with someone else is necessary.
In less open times, women were taught not be “sexual creatures”. Sex for women was something that was done only as a means to procreate (men, on the other hand, were not expected to exhibit such self-control). But, as they say, that was then. Modern women have learned that expressing a healthy interest in sex doesn’t mean the end of the world or a “scarlet letter”. And because of this fact, married women are discovering the enjoyment of a discreet affair. And equally as significant, they are discovering that having an affair doesn’t have to mean displeasure with their marriage, their significant other or their life. Rather, an affair, they are finding, can enhance their life and give it a whole new dimension. In short, they do it because they can.