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How to Seduce a Man

How to Seduce a Man

It may be tempting to answer the question “How do you seduce a man?” by quickly yelling: “Just show up.” And, yes, there is some truth behind that statement. According to research, a man’s sex drive is generally stronger than a woman’s and more straightforward. There generally isn’t a lot of time between when a man first thinks about sex and when he’s ready to have sex.

But that doesn’t mean a man doesn’t appreciate being seduced. Even though the mere sight of a woman may be enough to arouse some men, they still appreciate the effort that a woman puts into displaying her availability, her interest in sex and, more importantly, her interest in having sex specifically with him. Seduction is tool that women can use to not only display their intention but to encourage their man to want to perform at his peak. It’s a ritual that can benefit both of them.

But is seduction a lost art, as so many experts and newspaper columns have asked in recent years? Indeed, with so many distractions and responsibilities these days, compounded by the machines that keep us constantly connected to the outside the world, many people feel that seduction is a waste of time. Let’s just get it done and get back to Facebook. But thinking that a man just wants sex and sex only is a mistake that many women today make.

There are a few “tricks” that women can use to arouse a man, build the anticipation of sex and better her chances of getting the best sex she’s ever had:

Flirty text messages

You don’t have to be in the same room to turn on a man. If you say the right things you can get him turned on without even being there, even if the “talking” is done via text messages. The explosion of cell phones and, later, smart phones has introduced a new kind of seduction: “sexting” or sexy texting. By sending him a well-crafted text message with a few suggestive phrases, you can put ideas and images in his head that will have him aroused all day long. If you like, you can include a photo or two, but that’s cheating a little. Let his imagination run wild with just a few words.

Tell him your fantasy

Men love it when there woman confides a secret to them and there’s no secret more seductive than her sexual fantasy. Whether it’s whispered in his ear in an elevator or discussed in detail over dinner, a fantasy can keep a man interested and aroused for hours. It doesn’t even have to be something that you’d actually do. You may not be interested in actually taking part in a threesome, but placing that idea in his head will be enough to keep him intrigued. Or, if you like, describe a fantasy that you actually want fulfilled (love in an elevator, on the beach, etc.) and ask him to help you cross if off of your list. If it’s out of the normal comfort zone for both of you, it’s sure to get his mind racing.

A little skin

The unexpected sensual moment is one that men respond to quickly. A flash of skin in a location that is totally unexpected will spark his imagination for weeks. A dress that flutters up in a breeze, for instance, exposing just a bit more skin that normally seen on a bus stop can create any number of fantasies in men. So use this to your advantage. When out to dinner, your dress might “accidentally” creep up a bit when you sit down. You might drop your napkin in that low cut blouse you’re wearing. Or you might have to pull up the hem of your skirt to get out a stain that mysteriously developed exposing a bit of upper leg. It may seem innocuous, but these quick glimpses of skin become part of a fantasy for men and are great additions to the book of seduction.

Watch a movie together

But not just any movie, an X-rated movie. Men respond to visual stimulation, which is a big part of the reason why X-rated movies are so popular with men. Those films are all about visual stimulation and it might be a good idea to take advantage of that fact. Make it a “date night” and pop in a DVD, but don’t tell him what it’s about. It doesn’t have to be one of the more hardcore X-rated movies, but something that you both might enjoy, maybe even one with a few laughs. If there’s something in the film that looks interesting, make a point of telling him, “I’d like to try that.” He’ll admire your boldness and who knows, you might be trying it sooner than you think.

Work out together

Men’s testosterone levels jump up pretty dramatically when they work out or engage in a sport so why not give your seduction a jumpstart and engage in some strenuous out-of-the-bedroom activity with him? You’ll not only get the exercise you need, but you’ll send his testosterone levels up – and yours. And the higher your testosterone levels, the longer you both will be “in the mood”.

Wear red

It may be a myth that bulls react to red capes (they’re colorblind), but it’s no myth that men do. A study found that men looking at pictures of women in various color dresses reacted most strongly to the color red. Scientists theorize that it has something to do with Valentine’s Day and hearts, etc., things that we associate with romance. Whatever the reason, it’s a “red flag” to a man and a great way to aid in the seduction.


This may be the easiest seduction method of all. Men are, for the most part, gregarious creatures and have a desire to be the “leader of the pack”, even if the pack is only you and him. When you have a conversation, listen to him and give the appearance of hanging on every word. Drifting off and looking elsewhere around the room is a sign of disinterest and a sure turn-off. By paying close attention and, importantly, looking him directly in the eyes when he speaks, you show him your interested in him. And showing interest is the first rule of seduction.

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